[02 May 2008 | Friday]

6:23 PM - hard days though the rewards of being a stay-at-home-mom are tremendous, so are the negative days. everything seems SO EXTREME with a toddler. i guess that's because it is. to her at least. and of course, being somewhat emotionally incompetant these days, i follow her lead. when i attempt to guide her, she just tramples everything. it's amazing to see her switch, too. she will be giggling one minute, and [all kidding aside] she flips around and is screaming. and the lonliness is increasing, as i feel.. set aside from society. i had a girl come to the door today trying to sell something, and i actually enjoyed talking to her. even if it was to say "no, i don't have a checkbook, but good luck"... who the hell wishes a door-to-door salesman good luck?... ooooh, i think it may be time to self-medicate. topic change it's kinda [insert some snide word here] how i used to enjoy writing these "blogs" so long ago. i find it odd how much changes over time. i used to have all the free time one could wish for, living in the great city of San FranMotherFuckingcisco, and now, i'm married, i devote all of olivia's waking time to her, and i feel like i can't even take a break. even after i've put her down for bed. to write a blog is to vent my more recent frustrations... about what? politics? about traveling? about the dishes piling up? i guess i need to get back on my horse and figure out what my destination really is. i'm no poet. i won't be filling my blog with wonderous stories, but maybe i'll have some insight for my future-self.