Saturday, May 23, 2009

haven't actually completed a blog in a while

so i sat down to write a bitch-blog the other day, and while i was typing i got a phone call basically completely nullifying the entire thing, so i just deleted it.

i can't begin to express, well, i don't know what it is. we're broke. we're always broke. it fucking sucks. it's not always bad, but right now we're actually using our credit card for purchases we probably can't afford. and it's probably not that big of a deal, but we probably can't really even afford gas. but it's ok? i don't get how it's ok.

i confronted Ezra politely today about how we don't spend time together anymore. i mean, watching tv is NOT time together. we used to go for bike rides all the time, and go for walks. i'm talking pre-Oli days. if you knew us then you know what i mean. and he agreed. he said he would try to change that. now, i'm sitting at home while Oli sleeps, and he was just gonna stop by and pick up Elfie, now Richard too (which isn't a problem, I just don't get why he's so adamant on driving them when they're both coming over and have a car), but he gets sucked into watching Red Dwarf? Really?

Well fuck, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I have issues. I used to date a guy for six fucking years that didn't do shit, and every time I would get together with our friends and him, it would be all this talk about crap they did together. Quoting stupid tv shows, or whatever, but it was just a reminder of how I WASN'T THERE. I'm sorry, but it really gets to me when people do that kind of shit, and I really want to punch him in the fucking face right now.

I can't get the fact that he does shit ALL THE TIME THAT IRRITATES ME, and when I smoke, he gets mad. Fuck it. I earn it. If I want to do something to myself, whatthefuck, just let me do it, and back the fuck off. This isn't passive aggressive at all I suppose. but fuck it. i need a place to vent, collect my brain, and let it explode. oh, i think he's home.

great fucking start to my evening.
woo.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Whelmed

Austin's 3rd birthday was today. We were almost an hour late. I was supposed to do the facepainting, but Olivia had pretty bad diaper rash, so we had to give her an un-planned-for-bath, which put us behind. then of course it's one thing after another. the barista took forFUCKINGever when i got coffee, the guy at the atm before ezra had to deposit like 1000 single dollar bills one by one into his account or something, so yeah, i am an irritated ball of fucking stress.

grr.

class is almost done. the last stupid touches have to be done to the manuscript, then it'll go to graphics monday morning. that'll be a HUGE relief. maybe i will be able to like hanging out with richard once this is all over. (no offence if you read this.)...