learning from life?

there was a stripper that looked a lot like me. not like she could be mistaken for me, but we had similar bodies. it's sad that i had to see someone shaped like me to realize that my shape actually is sexy. i think that's one reason why i feel so connected to portland. strange, but true. when she walked on the stage, she commanded my attention. she wasn't stick thin, she wasn't perfectly toned, she was beautiful.

i was looking through old magazines last night, just relaxing in the living room by myself, and i felt truly attractive. i can't say i've ever really felt like that before. i felt beautiful, sexy, and like me. it was nice. i still feel like that today. it's a relief, opposed to the frump i've felt, well, forever.